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Teach Your Child Meaningful Gift Giving
For most parents, Christmastime ushers in the seasonal gift giving predicaments for their children which are ethically difficult to manage. As children get older and handmade gifts are not an option anymore parents are left with the dilemma of how they can teach their child to give meaningful gifts, even when the child is flat broke! Bartering physical labor in return for gifts insures a child has something of worth invested in the gift and can assure children understand and feel the profound joy of heartfelt gift giving.
‘Mom's Christmas Outlet Store' is Open for Business!
Last Christmas my two teenagers put on quite a show, teasing me about my holiday gift buying strategy for them when they were young. Their ‘dog and pony show' went something like this: my daughter pretended like she is a thug on the street, clothed in the stereotypical overcoat. She walked up to her brother, lowered her head to one side, acted as if she opened one side of her overcoat which might have been heavily laden with Rolex watches and solicited in her best villain 's voice, "I only have 3 gifts left for dad, get'em while they last; one can be yours for….ummmm…. a mere 5 chores!" Oh, how that brought down the house down! She and her brother proceed to launch into side splitting laughter, doing high fives, bumping knuckles and reveling in successfully busting mom's chops. Now it was my turn, I acted like they had wounded me as I began my usual ‘mom rant' about how my children treat me after I went to all the trouble to give birth to them… yada, yada, yada, lol!
Pssst… Don't tell them, but I love it when they "gang" up on me and we play this game.
Mom's Gift Giving Rule
What my children were joyfully quipping about is the way I helped them "buy" presents for family members when they were little. It was a rule in our home that by the time a child was six or seven years old, gifts were to be bought with an investment of labor or money.
Why Make Children Purchase Gifts With Their Own Resources?
A gift has little meaning unless the person giving the gift has something of value invested such as was beautifully illustrated in O. Henry's Gift of The Magi. I'll need to drudge up some not so fond memories to explain how I learned this lesson of self sacrificing gift giving. When my husband and I were first married, we, like most newly- weds were broke at Christmastime. I remember my well meaning mother in law would buy and wrap presents, without us even seeing them first, for us to "give" to other family members at our annual Christmas gathering. Miserably I would dread the moment for "our" gifts to be opened. There I would sit, immobilized like a deer in the headlights when family members would open "our" gifts and graciously thank us. Dare I say what I was thinking, which was something along the lines of, "Oh you're very welcome; what did I get you this year?" I felt like an imposter, a fraud! My mother in law certainly meant well and I am not faulting her, however this gift giving farce made for some really uncomfortable Christmas gatherings. After a few years of this anguish, my husband and I finally got the courage to suggest to her that we could buy our own gifts. Whew! Hard as it was, I learned a valuable lesson to pass along to my children; something needed to be invested in a gift, whether it is money or bartering with physical labor for the gift to be effectual.
Our Christmas Time Predicament
November twas the season I would start reminding my children that Christmas was coming soon and it would be a good idea to squirrel away some of their allowance (made from doing chores) for Christmas gifts. Okay, I could have taught them better about budgeting and saving, unfortunately that is not one of my biggest strengths, so it's no wonder that they usually ended up a week before Christmas with zero money and gift-less. Well, what's a loving mom to do? Justice might demand that my child spend Christmas without any gifts to give, but this mom's mercy just could not and would not let that happen! So what was the solution?
"Okay little child, your total is… your labor or your money."
The solution was that I became THE Christmas bargain outlet store! I would collect a stash of gifts for each family member. I would set a ‘fair moms market price' on each gift, and of course that price would be according to the child's age and their disposable income. For example, a pair of house slippers that I paid $20 for would sell at ‘Mom's Outlet Store' for $5.00 or 3 chores. Sometimes we even did some creative financing where high end negotiating skills were taught. For example, I might agree to receive $2 in cash plus 2 chores for the desired item. In essence, I would give my children a choice to give or not to give. They always chose to give!
‘Mom's Outlet Store' was my solution to my children's Christmas time gift giving predicament. I believe justice was served with this system. Justice mandated that for each gift given, "something must be invested, whether it was labor or money." When my children would come up short on funds, mercy was served by allowing my children to barter services for the gift instead of shelling out cold hard cash. Arguably, little children are not old enough to comprehend saving, however, when it came down to it, I am quite sure that ‘Mom's Outlet Store' taught them negotiating skills, a good work ethic and enabled them to experience the blessing of sacrificing something within to experience the profound inner joy of gift giving.
Did I bail them out? Probably. Do I regret opening ‘Mom's Christmas Outlet Store? Absolutely not! My children are very giving oriented. They will happily barter their services for the pleasure of giving a gift that they can be proud of which came from the sweat of their brow and the love in their heart! And besides, if not for ‘Mom's Christmas Outlet Store' I would not have gotten to be thoroughly entertained with my teenagers ‘dog and pony show' last Christmas and probably many more to come!
You may freely distribute this article as is as long as this reference box is included: Deaunna "Dana" Evans is the Super Moms Coach! Get your FREE e-course, ‘7 Powerful Parenting Tactics' at http://www.supermomscoaching.com Got an agonizing problem? Sign up for your complimentary telephone coaching session and you will have a workable solution within 40 minutes! Guaranteed! Call Today! 800-269-0283 Super Moms Coaching abides by the ICF Code of Ethics.
About the Author
Hello my name is Dana Evans, the Super Moms Coach! I am the cherished wife of my sweetheart of 20 years, proud mother of 3 excellent children, loving pet of 3 cats, and owner of Super Moms Coaching business. I also enjoy being the editor of the mom's site at BellaOnline, the second largest women's site in the world. I love being a wife, mother, business woman, homemaker and serving in my church (LDS). I received my credentials as a certified lifestyle and wellness coach from World Coach Institute. Since I have successfully crossed the motherhood bridge, I focus my coaching talents to help moms who are "in the trenches" of motherhood! I help busy moms that need fast solutions to solve real problems of home and family. Find me online at http://www.supermomscoaching.com
